Kerala · Family & caregiving

When a parent with dementia needs to stop driving in Kerala

Your father has driven to the same tea shop for years. Now he gets lost on the way home. You’re worried about the next trip, and you know what it would cost him to lose it.

By Counsilio · Published 9 November 2026 · AI-assisted editorial

If a parent with dementia has shown signs that driving is unsafe, help them pause driving now and contact their treating doctor promptly. Share what happened and arrange another way to make the next trip. When it’s time to stop driving, plan for the places and people they want to keep seeing, as well as their appointments.

Bring the doctor one clear example

The Alzheimer’s Association’s driving guidance lists warning signs such as getting lost on familiar roads, missing traffic signs, making unsafe decisions at junctions and mixing up the pedals. A near miss matters even if nobody was hurt. Write down the date, the road and what you saw. “At the junction near the market, he pulled out and another driver had to brake” gives the doctor more to work with than “his driving is getting worse”.

Ask directly: “Should Amma stop driving now? What assessment or follow-up do you recommend?” Include relevant concerns about a car or a two-wheeler. A study that followed people with early Alzheimer’s disease found that driving performance varied and could decline over time. It followed car drivers in the US; it cannot tell you whether a particular person is safe on Kerala roads. Don’t set up a family test drive to settle the question. If the clinician has already advised stopping, follow that advice.

Talk about the next trip, away from the car

Choose a quiet time. One person your parent trusts can start: “Acha, I was worried when we got lost coming back from the market. I’ll drive us tomorrow. Let’s tell your doctor what happened and ask what we should do.” If the doctor has already said to stop, be clear: “The doctor said it isn’t safe for you to drive. I know how much you’ll miss going when you like. Let’s work out how you can still get there.”

If your parent says they’ve been driving for forty years, you can agree that they know those roads well without agreeing to another drive. Acknowledge the loss and keep the immediate plan simple. If they repeatedly try to drive despite a clear safety concern, call the care team for help with a plan. The Alzheimer’s Association suggests limiting access to the vehicle as a last resort when safety requires it, alongside arranging reliable transport. Avoid a physical struggle over the keys. If someone is in immediate danger on the road, call 112, Kerala’s emergency number.

Keep the outing, even when the driver changes

Ask, “Which trip would you miss most?” It might be a stop at the tea shop rather than the hospital visit already in the calendar. Offer a choice your parent can use: “Would you rather go with me on Saturday, or with Ravi after the market on Wednesday?” Pick a time, name who will drive, and agree on a backup. A familiar auto or taxi may work for some trips; check whether your parent needs a companion and whether the pickup and return will work for them.

Give different relatives a specific job. One person can take the hospital appointment; another can keep the Wednesday tea stop going. If your siblings are away, they could arrange the ride or call to confirm the pickup rather than leaving it all to the person at home. Put the plan somewhere your parent can use, and ask after a week what worked and what they still miss.

Giving up driving can be upsetting. A US study of older adults found an association between stopping driving and later symptoms of low mood and anxiety; it didn’t establish what caused the symptoms or test a plan like this one in Kerala. If your parent is increasingly withdrawn, low or anxious, tell their care team. If you are the one losing sleep or feeling unable to cope, ask for support for yourself too.

Where to ask for help in Kerala

Start with the doctor already following your parent, or ask your family doctor about a referral. Sree Chitra Tirunal Institute’s Memory and Neurobehavioural Clinic in Thiruvananthapuram describes dementia assessment and support for families. Check how to access the clinic before travelling; the listing does not promise an on-road driving assessment. The Alzheimer’s and Related Disorders Society of India (ARDSI) lists caregiver counselling, referral and training contacts, including in Kerala. For licence questions, ask the Kerala Motor Vehicles Department what applies to the specific licence.

Common questions

Is a short drive close to home safer?

A familiar route can still have a busy junction, a pedestrian stepping out or a sudden detour. If you’ve seen unsafe driving or their doctor has advised stopping, arrange another way to travel. Don’t use a short trip to see how they get on.

What if my parent forgets why they stopped?

Give one calm reminder and name the next plan: “I’m driving today. We’ll leave for the market at ten.” If they keep trying to take the vehicle out, ask the care team for help with a consistent household plan.